Hansard

I, too, thank Elena Whitham for bringing this important debate to the chamber. As the motion says, and as other members have noted in their contributions, bereavement is not always an easy subject to discuss, but all of us in the Parliament, and our constituents, will experience some form of bereavement at various times in our life.

Bereavement is a complex and very personal experience. Everyone is different and there is no single way to grieve. We will all know personally, having had our own experiences or from seeing family and friends grieving, that everyone experiences it in their very own way and that people have their own beliefs, rituals and plans to help them to deal with death. However, we also know that people struggle. People experience things that they never imagined they would, and life is not always kind when those moments strike us. Sometimes we are prepared, and sometimes we are utterly unprepared. It is for those reasons, and for many other reasons that members have mentioned, that we need good bereavement support to guide people through what is often a very difficult time.

From my research for the debate, it is clear that people need both practical advice, as other members have mentioned, and on-going emotional support. Registering a death, following the rules for burial and dealing with costs can be both practically very difficult and emotionally draining. The time that follows, grieving in the longer term, is complex for many people. As other members have said, there is no timeframe—people have to deal with bereavement and grief in their own way and in their own time.

We know from the UK Commission on Bereavement’s report, “Bereavement is everyone’s business”, which the motion mentions, that, although we might imagine that people have support networks, the data tells us that the situation is quite different. According to the report, 28 per cent of the adults who responded to the consultation said that they received no support from family and almost 46 per cent said that they did not get support from friends following bereavement. In addition, 61 per cent of the adults who responded said that they had difficulty with at least one practical or administrative task following bereavement. That makes us think: these things will happen, and people need support in place. Finally, more than 40 per cent of the adults who responded said that they had wanted formal bereavement support but did not know how to go about receiving that support.

People find the subject of death so difficult. My own story is that I remember once dropping off my kids at school and going over to another mum to say how sorry I was about the death of her father. In that moment, I could see that she was very upset, and the reason was that people were avoiding her, which was so difficult for her to deal with, on top of all the grief. She really wanted people to recognise her bereavement and to say something about the loss of her father, but clearly so many people were finding it difficult, and their reaction was to walk away and say nothing.

Many of my thoughts in this debate are about how we support people to be a support to their family, friends and colleagues when they are experiencing bereavement and grief. We will all experience the death of a loved one, and it is incumbent on us all to try to support people. I am pleased to see in the update to the report that there has been some positive work across the four nations. That includes looking at how we support people in employment with bereavement policies and how we do work in schools. The Scottish Government has done some work on a palliative care strategy, including bereavement support. There are also the organisations that other members have mentioned. People tell us how important those organisations are and, as a Parliament, we must make a commitment to them.

All the measures that have been mentioned are very welcome, but, as always, more needs to be done. That is why the debate is so important. It is important that we talk about bereavement in order to understand its impact and the profound changes that bereaved people can face in dealing with the practical and emotional consequences. I welcome the debate, and I thank all members in the chamber for contributing to it.