Meeting of the Parliament 04 November 2025
I, too, thank the committee, the clerks and the expert witnesses who helped in the creation of the report. I say an especially grateful thank you to everyone who shared their experiences of domestic abuse with the committee, whether through the call for views or as members of the Scottish Women’s Aid survivor reference group who spoke to the committee. It can take a lot to open up about that sort of experience, but doing so can, and does, help other victims of domestic abuse, both now and in the future.
I have never personally experienced any of the things that the report talks about, but that is down to luck, because no one sets out to find themselves in an abusive relationship. I know about such relationships from folk who are close to me, and I have heard from constituents who have been through that experience. They had nothing in common before their abusive relationships began, but they have a fair amount in common now.
When I was selected to speak in today’s debate, I reached out to some of the people I know to hear their thoughts, and I asked if they wanted me to read their words in the chamber. One told me that she did not have the words, but she then went on to list a range of barriers that she had hit when escaping from her ex-partner. What worries me is that a lot of what she told me about is not listed in the report, even though it is more than 100 pages long and contains many important recommendations.
Her experience was that her ex had gradually cut her off from her support network, doing that so slowly that it was not even noticeable. He tracked her phone and had sole access to their bank account. Any income, including child benefit, was in his name, and he kept hold of all the family’s important documents, including her driving licence and their children’s birth certificates. When she and her children got away, they left without identification, a bank account or money—they did not even have a phone that they could safely use. ID is required to access almost all the support that we make available, and a lot of it requires a bank account that money can be paid into—something that again needs ID to set up.
That family could not call the available helplines, and the place that she eventually managed to get away to was not in the city. She did not have a car, a bus pass, bus fares or a support network that she could reach out to and which could get her and her children to where the support was. Even when she got to where she was told to go, the support that she needed was not all in one place. Instead, she was expected to get from Marischal college to a police station in Bucksburn, which, for those who are not familiar with Aberdeen, is a four-mile journey—on foot.
She asked me to raise those points today and to talk about the baseline that is used when support is made available. Unfortunately, a lot has gone wrong for her, which is why such debates and reports are important in enabling us to fix what is not right for others in the future.
In my final few seconds, I will highlight the fantastic Grampian Women’s Aid, which does an amazing amount of work. It goes above and beyond for many women and literally offers those fleeing domestic abuse a lifeline. If you are a woman in the north-east who needs help, Grampian Women’s Aid will help you, so please do not be afraid to reach out.
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