Meeting of the Parliament 15 May 2014
That is all part of animals living the life that is intended for them. People must learn to live with animals’ lifestyle—they need to get a lot of carpet cleaner, and to learn to rescue terrified birds from window ledges and to capture the odd terrified mouse and release it into the garden. That is a technique that I have mastered, and which I am happy to teach colleagues, if they require a lesson.
It is all to do with quality of life. The better the animals’ quality of life, the better we will feel, and we learn as we go. I know, as the saying goes, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff. No does not mean no, and any competent cat will be on your knee being absentmindedly stroked before you know it.
Good quality of life must extend to the animals that we breed to eat. Factories are for making things; they are not, and never will be, farms. If and when we kill to eat, it must be done as humanely as possible. As for circuses, all acrobatics and clowning should be from the human species.
People should never, ever buy their pet from the back of a car, even if their heartstrings are being tugged to breaking point. They should report that to the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals or some other welfare organisation. It is simply wrong, and if they buy a pet in that way they may inadvertently be supporting the hideous practice of puppy farming.
People should not buy pets online. It is not the same as ordering next week’s groceries or accessories for a new outfit. Animals are not things.
We need to update the legislation on sale of pets. The Pet Animals Act dates back to 1951. Crumbs! It is almost as old as me and definitely needs a facelift: the act, that is—not me.
We can enjoy our pets and our animal world, but we must do them the justice that they deserve. When we see injustice and ignorance in relation to animals, we should say or do something, even if only because we have more in common with them than we know.