Meeting of the Parliament 08 November 2016
I sincerely thank and congratulate my friend Graeme Dey on securing the debate. The number of MSPs who are taking part demonstrates well the pride that we all take in being species champions. I also thank Scottish Environment LINK, which has done a fantastic job in encouraging MSPs to adopt and promote a species.
Today I proclaim myself to be the proud slow worm champion. In all truth, since the day that I was first elected to a council in 1988, I never imagined in almost 30 years of Sundays that I would ever utter such words. However, I have a job to do on behalf of the slow worm and the first thing that I want to clear up is the fact that it is not a worm at all, and neither is it a snake—it is a fantastic reptile. Although it is superficially a snake, it is actually a legless lizard. [Laughter.] I am glad that I brought a laugh to the minister.
The slow worm is 40cm long and can live for up to 50 years. Unlike snakes, slow worms can blink. They have a flat, forked tongue and, very cleverly, they can lose their tails if they are attacked.
Slow worms are one of our most threatened species. Although they may not be the cutest of animals, they are striking. Males are usually grey or brown—some with bright blue spots—and females and juveniles are bronze or gold, with dark flanks, and often with a stripe down the back. I have brought along a picture of a particularly handsome slow worm for everyone to see. I think that members will agree with me that it is a particularly enhanced variety.
It may surprise some to hear, after seeing the picture, that the slow worm is something of a Casanova—yes, it is true. Courtship in the slow worm world can often last for as long as 10 hours before copulation occurs. I never in my wildest dreams—and I have had some wild dreams, I can tell you—thought that I would be standing in the chamber talking about the sex life of a reptile.
On a completely unrelated matter, I have no idea why I was chosen to be the slow worm champion. However, as a gardener, I am pleased that we have slow worms in some gardens in Scotland—unfortunately, not enough. Known as the gardener’s friend, they spend the majority of their time in deep vegetation or underground in humid, overgrown areas of rough grassland, woodland edges, scrub, gardens, allotments and railway embankments. Best of all, they eat lots and lots of slugs and other garden pests. No wonder they are called the gardener’s friend.
In all seriousness, Scottish Environment LINK and, in the case of the slow worm, Froglife, are doing a fantastic and invaluable job of promoting species. That is my three minutes up, so thank you, Presiding Officer.
17:14